Accept the Cards You Were Dealt


Life isn’t fair.
Did this nigga just?
At some point in everyone’s life, we all come to this grim conclusion. Maybe you got laid off – so you lost your house, which strained your marriage, so you lost that too, and now you’re broke and alone, sitting on your mom’s couch with bits of half eaten Ruffle chips lying on your chest, too depressed to look for a job, wondering what the hell happened. Maybe your dog ate your kitten — then got hit by a car because you chased it into the street with a broom and now you’re not only out two pets, but you have to pay for the car that was damaged. Maybe your Mom died – which is unfortunate. My condolences . . .
Whatever the case – life sucks sometimes and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it – you would think. There is one thing you can do, just one. And no, it doesn’t involve standing on a chair in your basement, tying your belt to a pipe, wrapping it around your neck, and kicking the chair away – or weed. And definitely not alcohol — I’ve always wondered why people revert to alcohol when they’re down on their luck . . . like it’s not the most counterproductive thing you could do.
NEWS FLASH! Alcohol’s a fucking depressant.
But I digress.
The only thing you can do is . . .
wait for it . . .
waiiiit for it . . .
almost thereee . . .
Accept it.
Yep, that’s it. Accept it. It’s that simple. Life isn’t fair. Shit happens. Now move on with your got damn life and stop dwelling on it.
Easier said than done, right?
Well, I’m going to give you guys four “rules” that helped aid me through a very dark time in my life. A time when I was full of woe is me’s, I hate my life’s, and why me’s. A time when, quite honestly, I probably needed to see a psychiatrist. But before I get to these *air quote* rules, I’d like to give you a brief run down of the series of unfortunate events that highlighted the past 4-5 years of my life.
My Story:
During my Sophomore year of college I fell into a deep depression that no one knew about. Not my close friends, not my family, not my cat, Black (original, right?), no one.  It was triggered by a variety of things (family drama, being poor, hating my school, hating my major, all that fun stuff) and ultimately lead to me skipping the remainder of my classes second semester, leaving me with a dismal .1 GPA for the term.  Wowza! I know. I’m not proud of it.
Eventually I got my shit together, but it was too late. The damage was done. I’d be forced to go into my 5thsemester, which if you don’t know, at Augsburg, is probably the worst situation someone can  end up in i.e. they cut my financial aid. So, not only was I unable to finish my Graphic Design certification, but it put me in debt TO Augsburg, on top of my other student loans.
This in turn, made it impossible for me to apply to Film School (which I’m 100% sure I would’ve gotten into because I nearly got into Columbia, NY the year prior) because Augsburg is holding my transcripts as well as my diploma until I pay them upwards of 12,000 dollars – which might as well be 100,000 because there’s no way I’m coming up with the money anytime soon.
No Film School/ Graduate School meant I was forced to fend for myself in a world far realer than I expected with nothing more than a fucking English degree, which no one told me was about as useless as walking into an interview peddling a stick of Degree deodorant.
So now, at 24. I’m obligated to live at home,  helping my mom (who was laid off years back and has yet to bounce back) pay the bills. I fear I’ll be stuck in MN for all eternity, which sucks horse penis. And not to toot my own horn, but I have more talent in my pinky than some people have in their entire family, yet there’s a good chance it will never be rewarded. Suckky – suck, suck, suck, suck.
That’s my story. And I was once bent out of shape about it. Actually, I was  bent out of shape for quite some time. But now, I’m as cool as the bottom of a pool. ß don’t ask.
How Mic? How did you do it? Why are you so undeniably awesome?
Well, beautiful people, it’s because I accepted the fact that life isn’t fair, shit happens, and that more often than not, it’s completely out of my control. Don’t you fret, you too, can be as cool as the bottom of the pool.
Here are the four “rules” that helped me cope:

  1. Stay positive.Sounds like a no brainer, but be honest; when shit goes awry, how often do you opt to stay positive? Either seldom, or never. I’m more inclined to think the latter. We’re programmed to automatically feel like the earth just exploded whenever we break a toenail, so making it a point to NOT blow things out of proportion will save you a world of grief.
  2. Don’t lose sight of the beauty in life. Our society makes it far too easy to forget about the things that truly make life worth living – the little things: the flap of a butterfly wing *stares off* the feeling you get when you bite into a York peppermint patty, oh the sensation . . . where was I? *skims paragraph* Right — By corrupting our psyche with a plethora of superficial values. Take some time to really enjoy your friends and family, unplug, go outside, get out the city, see nature. Listen to live music. Love and be loved. Read. Be active, which directly relates to my third rule.
  3. Stay active.  Keep your mind busy. You know what they say about an idle mind. It’s scientifically proven (google it) that a person with too much time to think, is not a happy one. You’d be surprised how easy it is to forget about your worries when you’re preoccupied with something else. Lastly:
  4. Count your blessings.  Seriously. Nothing is as bad as you think it is. Even if your ma died. Somebody lost their entire family. Not taking away from your mom’s death or anything (why do I keep killing off mom’s?), just saying, hey . . . there are people with worst shit going on. No matter how fucked up you think your life is, there’s always something to be thankful for – outside of being alive.
So, there ya go. Four “rules” that should help you accept that life isn’t fair. Accept the cards you were dealt. Embrace them. Maybe you were dealt a shitty hand, big deal – ha! Big deal. Get it? Deal? Anyway. You’re not alone. If you haven’t noticed, 99% of our beloved nation was dealt a shitty hand. God bless America. *salutes flag* Be cool as the bottom of the pool.
Until next time,
Join the Movement #SQUARES Unite