Squares, what’s good in thine hood?
This past week, I received some disconcerting news. News that shook my soul. Warped my mind. And left me with a tremendous sense of unease. I lost a dear friend of mine . . . over some of the pettiest shit known to man – jealousy.
No. This friend didn’t die. Nah. She didn’t move. Oh no, no, no that’d make far too much sense. That’d be, dare I say it . . . logical. But we all know logic and women go together like babies and paint.
Funerals and smiles.
*dodges head of lettuce*
Black people and good credit.
|I hate us lbs
*barely dodges a chair*
Chill. Just stating factual opinions here. But I digress.
I lost a dear friend of mine because she’s simply not allowed to be my friend anymore; her man wasn’t comfortable with our relationship. A relationship that consisted solely of partaking in herbal remedies and making music — using equipment that we went HALF on, mind you, so the “excessive” time we were spending together was borderline out of obligation.
So now, I’m just a ninja making music by myself – with one speaker cause ya boy had to split everything. It’s a cold thang, jack. We’ve been tight for what? 8 or 9 years now? Shaking my head. Hurt a young ninja’s feelings. But again. I digress. This post isn’t about me losing a friend, nor is it about me being in my feelings. This post is about women letting their men punk the shit out of them. It’s not okay. We have to put an end to this shit and I’m going to tell you how and why.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Is the phrase of the day, children. It’s something that many of your male counterparts have mastered, yet something y’all can’t seem to wrap your pretty little head around. Don’t trip. It’s not your fault. Men have it easy. Not only are we outnumbered by a griznip as hell, but the majority of lady types just aren’t picky enough. Flat out. A ninja could be walking around with no teeth, half a shoe on his foot, smelling like a Somali mosh-pit (whoa, mic . . . chill . . . why was that okay?) and still find some pussy. Whereas that same bum, half a shoe wearing, stank ass ninja may have the audacity to turn your pussy down. Why? Well. Because he has options. Lots of them.
Let’s face it.
If you’re a black woman in America looking for a black man. 40 percent of them are in jail. 30 percent are on their way to jail. 10 percent are with men. And 10 percent are with other ethnicities. That leaves you with about 10 percent of the population to play with. And only 1 percent of that 10, can be considered “good men”. In other words . . . it’stighter than conjoined twins. But don’t let the statistics discourage you. There’s hope . . . for women who aren’t wack. If you’re wack . . . you read the statistics. It’s tight.
But for the women who aren’t wack, i.e. have something to offer a quote unquote “good man”, you simply have to CHOOSE UP.
The most fundamental component of choosing up is realizing your worth. Men inherently have a unrealistic sense of self-worth. That is to say, there’s a laundry list of things we won’t put up with because we feel we could easily find someone else who won’t make us have to.
For instance, let’s use the situation I found myself in above:
Her man told her she couldn’t be friends with someone she goes back like four flats with because he was jealous. She said okay. We’re no longer friends.
Now reverse the situation . . . and the man just would’ve been single. As simple as that. The only reason he WOULDN’T be is if 1. the friendship wasn’t that important to him. Or 2 – nope there is no 2. That’s the only reason. If it was his rns FRIEND. His ride or die? He’d just make you deal with it by finding some way to make you more comfortable with the relationship. i.e.making the two of you become friends or something, but under no circumstances is he giving up his friend.
Good friends are mad hard to come by. Good friends are lifelong. The best romantic relationship in the WORLD isn’t even lifelong these days, so why risk losing a lifelong friend? In the words of my goodfriend, Ghandi, fuck that. Of course Ghandi really didn’t say that, but I’m sure he would if he could. CHOOSE UP.
By choosing up, you’re choosing to be confident with who you are and what you bring to the table. You’re choosing to not put up with dumb shit like cheating, physical and mental abuse, being taken for granted, wack dick, lackluster romance – essentially, you’re choosing not to settle, which, quite frankly, is what a lot of women do. Y’all settle more than the Pilgrims. Get it? They called the Pilgrims settlers, so . . . so y’all settle more than the pilgrims? Get it? Ahhh I crack myself up.
But yeah, why settle? YO muthafuckin’ LO, ninja. That’s the correct way to use the term. You only live once, so don’t put up with unnecessary bullshit, got snabbit! Not at work, not in your relationship, not from your family, not in line at Target, not from the little kid next door who keeps ringing your doorbell and running, not from nobody. Choose the F up.
Hmm . . . I took a break from writing this, so I lost my train of thought. Nonetheless, I think y’all got my point.
What’s the word of the day again, children?
One more timeee.
I cann’t hearrr youuuu.
Got damn right. Never settle.
Until next time,
**I dedicate this post to my good friend, who lost a good friend by choosing to not #ChooseUP
Join the Movement #SQUARES Unite