He’s Got to Pay to Play! Or Maybe Not…
NINJAS be dating! Ninjas be dating…you cannot stop some ninjas from dating! So HERES another post about dating. Many things to discuss on this topic: the ideal date, who should ask, what you should do, when is the smanging date, and most importantly WHO SHOULD PAY on the first date? This post dives into this question with a solution you probably haven’t thought of before. And if you have I don’t give shit because I’m talking about it now.
When ladies are asked if they think a guy should pay for the first date (and potential dates to follow), most would respond HELL YEA. I imagine she might say “shit! I’m tired of spending my own money all the got damn time. If I’m paying for myself to go to a dinner or movie, then why the fuck did I come out with you then? I take my homegirls on dates year round if that’s the case! No need to add a dude to the bill!” The guy may respond, “ok true, but I’m fucking tired of spending my doe for every date I go on as well! Especially for women who aren’t interested in me beyond getting a free meal, movie, or admission to something. That shits whack!”
And who am I to argue with either statement. They both have good points.
BUT WAIT! I got a solution to both of your complaints! How about you do something free or something so ridiculously cheap both of you would look like total assholes for complaining about the amount of money you had to spend. The cheap route keeps it simple in your pocket. The free route releases both parties from the DREADED moment when the bill comes or walking up to the ticket line. OMG I hate that moment. I’m waiting in line for the movie and I’m thinking “damn is he gon pay? When we get closer I’ma fall back and see if he goes first and ask for two. Damn I should have bought my ticket earlier. But then what if he planned on paying? Now I look cheap. Damnit…”
Back to doing something free (or something so cheap…blah blah blah you know the rest). How about a museum on discount Tuesday? Meet up for coffee at your favorite spot or go to the park perhaps? For the guys, how impressive will you look when you suggest the museum of fine arts? She’ll be like (insert your ghetto cousins voice) “oh shit, he’s cultured hay!” Guys always seem to run straight for the movies and Fridays. You suggested something different. Now you’re looking real unique my dude, and you didn’t have to spend a dime. She don’t need to know that you taking her on First Thursdays when it’s free! You’re working smarter, not harder. She gotta respect the grind on that one. (LMAO)
If you go the coffee route, I mean C’MON SON, two chai lattes aren’t more than like $12 so you’re not breaking the bank if you pay for both. And suppose you take it upon your cheap ass self to make her pay for her own, no harm done I suppose. I GUESS (insert somewhat annoyed tone :-P) a woman can buy her own coffee. At the end of the day I would figure hey, I don’t mind spending $6 on myself when meeting up with someone. We’re at Starbucks for crying out loud, not Masa NYC (that’s an expensive sushi restaurant that cost about $300 a plate)! I don’t know this guy, so maybe paying for myself keeps it strictly casual. No expectations. I mean he couldn’t possibly expect anything, he didn’t even buy my fucking coffee! (LOL) But seriously ladies, we can’t really jump to conclusions if he didn’t buy our $6 chai or coffee. Maybe he’s broke as fuck but didn’t want to decline the chance to meet up with you. Maybe he only has $6.13 in his account and getting you and him that chai latte just wasn’t gonna work. Maybe he’ll sacrifice his thirst for chai and only get one for you, just to be a gentleman. Either way, can’t judge a book by his $6 chai latte cover.
Moving on to the park, perfect right? Neither party has to spend money on anything, unless they feel so inclined. No financial harm done. And also, you’re in a public park with witnesses! If either party is a crazy face head ass you can run away screaming for help. Can’t trust folks these days. Law and Order has taught me psychopaths don’t always come in the unattractive, white male, lives in his mother’s basement and watches countless hours of porn stereotype.
The main point is this: fellas if you keep the first date simple you avoid the potential of financial strain that may be accompanied by ultimate ass disappointment when you don’t get the call back. And for the ladies, we avoid feeling extra uptight about whether or not we have to pay for ourselves (beyond that $6 chai) AND pissed off when we DID have to pay for ourselves.
By now, I imagine some of you are concerned about calling it a real “date” if the guy didn’t pay. Well then, view it as a pre-date of sorts. A preview to determine whether or not you wanna go on a FOR REAL FOR REAL date. Think about it; previews are always free. I mean what fucking idiot pays for previews? Seriously. Anyway, lets think outside the box so we can get our free or “no more than $6” on! Happy (pre)dating friends!