The Key to Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
I don’t know if you guys are aware, but I’m in a long distance relationship. Have been for about . . . let’s say, five months now. It’s been a grand experience. I’m not being sarcastic at all . . .
Or am I.
In all seriousness, it hasn’t been too bad. Like, don’t get me wrong, it sucks — cause I be missin’ the FONK out of my babe — but I can honestly say we’re doing a damn good job of keeping the spark alive, which of course you know, at a distance, is no small feat.
From ages 22 to about 27 people generally have to deal with a tremendous amount of change. We’re stuck in a perpetual state of transition, so to speak. Whether you’re going off to graduate school, moving closer to opportunity, traveling, teaching overseas — whatever the case — it’s terribly tough on anything that remotely resembles a relationship, which is why I’m writing this post. Though making a long distance relationship work seems about as feasible as Helen Keller completing a Rubix Cube, it’s not impossible.
How to Survive an LDR
I’ve decided to compile a list of six things that me and my lady feel are necessary to ensure a successful LDR. Though there are several things we left off the list — because at the end of the day, what works is all relative to the relationship — the ideals we’ve decided to list are absolutely necessary if you’re going to last.
In no specific order:
This is by far the most important KEY to a “happy” LDR. It will help you get through the rough patches you’re undoubtedly going to come up against. In my opinion, if you’re not in love — like in STUPID love — like this is the man/woman I hope to MARRY love, you have no business being in a long distance relationship. Don’t be stupid lol. It’s not fun. You better have some legit feelings if you plan to last longer than five days. Real shit.
2. Sexting/Phone sex/ Skex — whatever. SOMETHING.
This is probably the most difficult thing to deal with being in an LDR: the lack of sex/ intimacy. When you’re in love, all you want to do is touch, grope, caress, bite, scratch, and dive into your significant. So no being able to is enough to drive a sane man mad. So, in order to somewhat rectify the situation, you have to use everything at your disposal. I’ve found that Skype is the best shit invented for an LDR — you get to see and talk to your significant in real time. With some creativity, you can still get it “popping”. It may not be sex, per se, but you and your love are still at least able to share moments/ be intimate with one another. To be honest, having to jump this hurdle will probably make your relationship stronger.
3. SWEET shit — Overly SWEET shit.
|Puppy Holding a Teddy Sweet|
I can not enforce this enough. This is something I borderline had to force on my babe, cause she’s not really a sappy — lovey — dovey — be in your feelings type of person. But that shit is necessary: “good morning” texts/calls, “goodnight” texts/ calls, “just thinking about you” texts/calls, care packages, fuggin poems — if you’re into that — notes —- you basically have to put sweet shit into overdrive because touching and all that fun shit isn’t possible. You need to KNOW they’re still “in it” with you, and sweet shit helps.
4. An understanding — a plan.
Both Short-term and Long-term — if you don’t have a plan, you have no business even being about this LDR life. You have to be able to see the “end” — to know where your relationship is going, what’s next, and how you’re going to go about reaching that end point. Otherwise, you start to question your LDR’s purpose. And the last thing you need in an LDR is to be questioning its purpose.
5. Frequent visits — Necessary.
If you and your significant aren’t able to see each other — don’t get into a long distance relationship. Flat out. Don’t do it. It’ll be a waste of your time, energy, and feelings. Just chalk it up as an L and find someone else. The shit will literally eat you up. When you’re in love, you HAVE to see that person. You HAVE to touch that person. You HAVE to love that person. And you’re not able to do these things at a distance. You. will. cheat. Women have impeccable will power, I’ll give you that. But a man? He’s going to cheat. No question. A man isn’t going 3 plus months with no ass. Two months tops.
6. Keep yourself out of compromising situations
|You know you done fucked up, right?|
This is another really important rule. If not the second most important. When you’re in an LDR. You’re extremely vulnerable. You generally go from 100% intimacy to 5%. It takes awhile to wrap your head around the idea. You LONG for that intimacy. So it’s just WISE to not put yourself in compromising situations. Don’t hangout one on one with people you think may be interested in you/ you may accidentally become interested in. Don’t get SLAPPED and then decide to be around the opposite sex in an intimate setting. Don’t let yourself become flirt buddies with nobody — just. don’t. do it. It will spell your demise.
If you do these 6 things. You should be straight — at least for awhile. All things considered, there are some very real downsides to being in an LDR. Here’s two:
If you and your significant call yourselves getting in a little tiff, it can balloon into the dumbest shit. You’re not able to comfort each other — to give each other that loving — knowing touch. That shit is necessary. You feel hopeless as shit when you can’t do anything to ease you or your significant’s anger.
Tough times in general will test you. Say you’re significant’s having a bad day, or they lost someone close to them — really anything involving deep feelings of sadness — they NEED you with them, yet you can’t be there. The shit will eat you up . . .
2. Missing your significant/ Sex
You will miss your significant like you’ve never missed anything in your life. It’s horrible. You will be the horniest you’ve ever been in your life. It’s horrible.
But at the end of the day — in the grand scheme of things — if it’s worth it, it’s worth it. I, personally, don’t recommend being in a long distance relationship for an extended amount of time — but it’s all relative to the relationship.
Until next time,
Wish me and my lady luck.
|I cut your chin off|