FIVE: Things I Dislike About Living In MN

FIVE: Things I Dislike About Living In MN

What’s poppin’, Squares? 

I’ve lived in MN my entire life, and I’ve been longing for a change of scenery since I was 17. So I’ve been spending the better part of the past eight months saving so I can relocate, and I’m in the process of applying to graduate school as well, so hopefully it’ll be my ticket out of here. 

Now understand, I do have an appreciation for MN, but it’s just too small. Everywhere you go you it seems like you see the same people, in the same places, doing the same things, year after year. Until you hit that age where it’s time to settle down and start a family. It’s time for a change. 

So with that said I’m going get down to business and present y’all with FIVE things that I dislike about living in MN.

1) Weather
Ok I’ll just go ahead and start with the obvious. Like many other Minnesotans I dread the winter. And yeah I know, I know, “You should be used to it, you’ve lived here your whole life”, but being used to it still doesn’t make it any more desirable. Plus, why would I ever be content with 6 months of winter (fall is a part of winter, this is not up for debate) when there are places with mild weather for the majority of the year and a couple months of “GotDAMN it’s hot!” or “Maybe I should throw a jacket on” weather? I’ll take the latter over this winter wonderland and subzero temperature nonsense any day.
2) Location
Another thing I really dislike is where MN is located. I mean look at what states we’re surrounded by: Wisconsin, Iowa, Dakota (I consider North and South Dakota to be the same place. Nobody goes there under their own will). If I can be honest for a moment, the Midwest may very well be the least popular region in the nation. Honestly, how often do you hear about people traveling to the Midwest and being excited about it? And going to visit relatives doesn’t count. I’ve never heard of anyone coming to the Midwest to take a vacation. EVER! The only place really worth traveling to is Chicago — which I admit is a very lovely city — but other than that…yeah not much besides that. Compare that to some cities on the east or west coasts, even the wack cities are within reasonable proximity to popular cities. For example, CoS’ very own D-Frankly lives in Providence, RI, 1 hour from Boston, 3 hours from New York, 4-5 hours from Jersey/Philly, and 7 hours from D.C. aka Chocolate City. That’s what we call OPTIONS. Here? All we have is MOA and St. Cloud college parties (Shoutout to Private Theory) *gets nostalgic* .
3) Diversity

Do you remember that VMA commercial where the Wayans spoofed The 6th Sense; *whispers* “I see white people…all the time”, this is how I feel everyday. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want y’all to think I’m racist because I’m most certainly not. But I must admit that I loathe being a black man in a state with a 85% white population. Yes a whopping 85%. The fact that the St.Paul and Minneapolis combined population is about 600,000 people only makes things worse. There’s not many places that you can go and be surrounded by black culture, unless you got to Soundbar or Club NY, but that would mean you want to be around the ratchets, and I classify them as a race of their own.

Side note : You know clubs / a city is kinda wack when one of the main clubs is named after another city LMAO! I digress.
Is it too much to ask for a place to go where you can be surrounded by young, educated, and classy black folk (Sophisticated Saturdays coming soon. Shameless plug)? Now there will always be those people who say “well you can go to (insert location/event)”, but that’s still only one, should our options be so limited?
4) Nightlife

Ok so back to the topic of nightlife. I have 2 problems with the nightlife here in the Twin Cities :
  • The clubs close at 2, which means if you’re not out by 12:30 and drunk by 1 it’s not even worth going out. And you know black folks can’t do nothing on time, so that can be a lot to ask. Just the other weekend I walked into a party 20 minutes before it ended and was salty. Idk about y’all, but I’m not ready to quit partying at 2 a.m. At least keep them joints open until 3, nobody is sober at 2 a.m. If you give people that extra 1 – 2 hours maybe they would spend the last hour dancing and sobering up so they can drive home responsibly, instead of hopping behind the wheel and trying to slither home with that Ciroc in their system, trying not to get pulled over.
  • The options are limited as hell. The clubs/bars are either ratchet, white as hell (usually the case with the bar), or it’s probably dead. If you want to go out and be guaranteed to be around black folk and hear good music you can go to Roundbar (Soundbar) or Club Ratchet (NY). Anything else you are taking a risk on the crowd or the music. Or taking a chance with your life because these young boys like to play with guns.
5) Age Progression

I’m sure most of y’all don’t know that I’m a Mathematician, but check out this conversion table right quick:


Age works a little different here in MN, almost like dog years. In Minnesota 21 = 25, 25 = 30. Anything older than 30 is ancient and irrelevant. If anybody reading this is 30+ don’t shoot the messenger, these aren’t my words, this is just what I’ve been told.

It seems like everybody wants to be boo’d up, preparing for a family and kids by 23 – 24, regardless of where they are in life. I’m 24, and I feel like I know a lot of people with babies, some going on their second, others on their 4th or 5th, or talk of engagement, and once every blue moon I may hear about someone around my age getting married. And god forbid you go on Facebook. I went to an old friend’s page the other day and literally every picture from the past few months was of her baby. Now I’m not mad at anybody, get it how you live, but I think it’s more important to have your life together and to be established before you consider bringing someone into your life long-term, let alone bringing a child into this world. But on this issue my opinion may be void, I’m just a young, single, ambitious dude from the Eastside with dreams of one day being worth half a billion dollars like Jay-Z, what do I know?

There you have it folks. My FIVE biggest gripes with living in the frozen tundra that is Minnesota. Feel free to leave a comment and talk about your likes/dislikes, or just to debate and disagree with mine.

Hallelujah, Holla Back

Q Guru

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