Get YO Big

Get YO Big

Stephon Marbury get YO bigggg off brand basketball shoe having, NBA exile faceheadass outta here!You’ve been long forgotten in Minnesota and have been replaced in the hearts of nostalgic Timberwolve fans by the Spanish Pistol Pete that is Ricky Rubio. You just couldn’t handle being out of the spotlight and refused to act like a civilized human being.

Instead, you start a web show where you’re crying like a child and eating Vaseline. That’s right, zoloftanxiety.com good ol’ petroleum jelly. Then, to salvage your pride and regain your dignity you decide to go play basketball in China for the CBA where you recently won your team their first championship. This instantly launched you into a borderline legendary class, and now the Chinese citizens are campaigning for a bronze statue to be built in your honor. Word!? Now I can’t front, you balled out – averaging 33.4 points and 6.2 assists in the finals – dropping 41 in the final game. With that being said, NBA fans still aren’t forgiving you and this will go down as just another chapter in your life of outlandish antics and constant struggle. You may be able to fool the fans of the CBA but you can’t fool us back in the U.S. I can imagine Yao Ming and Jeremy Lin are somewhere giving you the “Nigga Please” face this very instant.

You could have been something special in those days in MN with Kevin Garnett. Now, you’re just a man basking in a fluke limelight, leading a life of buffoonery. Stephon we want nothing to do with you. Security, escort him outta here.

 

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