The results are in…. 3 month old baby Curante, Los….. YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER…..LMBO
Yes that was funny to me
But the survey I sent out via text message to over 60 women today around 4:30pm has been tabulated and my goodness *kevin hart voice* you women are something else.
First I sent the text/survey out to get a general idea of what a quality date is to a woman. So what better way to find out about a quality date than to ask about the IDEAL date? Right? Ideal not necessarily being perfect but being as close to perfect as one minds could think of during this busy 4:30 Friday evening, Right?
*Disclaimer* I sent this message out originally to understand what makes a date ideal to a woman AND I wanted to see if the women I have been surround by for the past 5-8years of my life enjoy the same things and were they similar or different. Granted you all have wonderful, unique and mysterious personalities but I think the true uniqueness you possess is when you are asked to describe an ideal action or situation. The different in your answers, IN MY BRAIN, would really separate you, IF you are as different or unique as you say you are. Thus the question and survey was born… I know, that’s a lot of inferencing from a single question but so what… sue me…
Well here is the original question/text s it was sent out:
“Can you describe your ideal date? Location, activities, atmosphere and All…Please and Thanks”
Now the text and question was a bit informal mainly because I didn’t want an academic answer to a simple “gut feeling” question. To conceal the answers of the young women, all between the age of 20-27 except two outliers 31, 34, I will post some selected answers with “Lady #4” or “Lady #33”.
Data/Demographics from the survey.
-61 Women surveyed
-59 between the ages of 20-27
-4 w/ children
-38 former athletes
-57 in college or have graduated; 4 never attended
-49 are single (obviously); 7 in relationships; 5 (I have no clue)
-11 rock natural hair (random factoid)
-58 are black
-8 did not respond…(they ran out of Toilet Paper tonight, Just ask’em)
RESULTS: (Not as exciting or diverse as I had hoped for…..) (sappy)
Food the most common denominator as it appeared in all but 4 answers. 49 in total…
Conversation was huge part of all responses 50 mentioned good, quality or interesting conversation.
And a quirky activity….
Literally folks… That is what it comes down to… the end… LOL 3parts, (Food, Conversation, Quirky Activity)
But seriously, the question was simple and I got simple answers, but the approach many of you took to answering the questions is what was most interesting and some of you won me over with your responses. I happily placed all responses into four groups… J
For Starters; There’s a group of analyzers/over-thinkers/wise-gals/academics approximately 12 of the 53 that asked immediately.
Well what kind of date? Who is this date with? Is this a first date? Am I inviting them out or did they invite me out? Is it with someone you know know? (black person thing to use double words for emphasis LMBO)
I mean goodness gracious talk about over analyzing a situation but it really shows the differences in communication between men and women, in what I thought was a simple question turned out to be a serious, detailed oriented question, one in which I left out a bunch of details and context clues.
The second group will be categorized as the “easy to please and easy to disappoint group”. These people were indecisive or indirect in their answers or extremely vague. Giving the impression that anything would suffice for a date, or something no matter what would be cool. Now if this isn’t a lump of women being facetious(B.S) I don’t know what is. Some of you damn well know that you aren’t about to be up for anything and know good and well that not everything keeps you interested or be enjoyable all night. I mean come on… Ideal….was the question ladies… give a man a bone, lead him to the right path, hint at least at what interests you don’t send him into the dark.
But with this group comes benefits… They say anything will do and believe that whatever you decide to come up with is COO… what they also don’t say with their CODE is that even though they aren’t hard to please, they aren’t hard to disappoint either. They’re kinda grey and for most men grey is a terrible area when dating… an activity that might be cool on a date might only be cool for 30 minutes and it may take a lot to keep their attention. Perhaps some of these people didn’t belong in this group but in the following group however, I went off of your responses so it is what it is…
The third group which based on responses was similar to the second group but had one component that many in the second group lacked… This group I will like to call the “anything, as long as it is with you” group. They absolutely didn’t care MUCH…still preferring food and conversation about what they did as long as the person they are with is who they like or are feeling. This group honestly won me over because they were more concerned about whom they were with than the actual date “ACTIVITIES”, and for a person like me this is the group I would prefer to go on a date with the people who can enjoy any atmosphere any evening or activity with the right person. They had similar components to the second group as they were grey on what they liked or decided was interesting for an ideal evening but they attached something at the end of the message that gave way to a more intimate approach. The “as long as I am with someone who is ,x,y z, it really doesn’t matter” Lady#53. One went as far as to say that as long as I have the complete attention of the other person I could care less about what we are doing.
The fourth group; which I personally like but also was hesitant about, is the women that know exactly what they want to a T. They were able to describe an ideal evening albeit fantasy or reality to a T. Had the time of year, time of the day, outfits and everything together. As a man that is extremely great to meet a woman that is knowledgeable about what she wants, likes or finds interesting. But how flexible are you in what you like for a man to find some variation of that activity or to do something else. Blah blah blah (tired of writing)
A major trend that followed throughout this survey was the lack of variation between dates. At first I thought that all of you unique women would have extremely different activities to do or extremely interesting type of dates. I see continuously on twitter how women want to go on dates or how they’ve never been on dates and How they want to get out and do a whole bunch of stuff with a great guy but a lot of the responses given for a lack of a better word were basic date ideas. Food, conversation quirky activity… quirky being, ice skating, horseback riding, museum, board games, bowling, cooking, go for a walk, drawing together, listen to live music and the list goes on. Okay all in all they were pretty dope, All of them I have done before except horseback riding, I’m lowkey coo on farm animals unless we are on a complete outdoorsy type of date, but the sum of any difference on any date has come down to those activities. I don’t want to say anything that might offend anyone but I thought those things were cool laid back events people did often date or no date. But my assumptions makes a you know what out of me… So I really want to know, is there not much variation amongst my female friends… Is it safe to say that regardless of your corky personalities, sense of humors, intelligence and aura’s that it basically comes down to conversation, some good food and a simple yet noble idea.
I’m really at a crossroads with this because I was expecting some drastically radical radical (that black thing again) ideas on what might be an ideal date. I wanted someone to say something so far out of left field that I had to ask were they serious. Now is that because when it comes down to it women have a fixed idea of what a date should constitute or what people should do.
Or is it more or less the dating options are so limited that people are constantly reshuffling ideas and changing venues they do those things at because there isn’t much to choose from. I don’t know which is which. Women coming down to three basic components or there being only simple basic activities on a date.
I hope it is the later rather than the former because I don’t want to think I need to reach out to more women for friends or dating options because of it. I would rather it be that women are stuck because their options for dates are stuck.
(I duly note that most guys plan dates and it is probably their lame ideas that have you so unexposed)
*When I say basic I mean simple and when I say either I mean them in a noble sense not a basic bitch sense because that is just rude.
Well I am all done babbling about the results and providing commentary… Feel free to shoot a brother a text, tweet or comment on the blog post, we love interaction over here.
Following are selected responses I thought were reflective of what I said or just funny. Feel free to give individual criticism or critique of the responses… All responses are exact…
Lady #23 “Ok Nope… I don’t have a perfect date. Besides there not being a such thing. I don’t get too hung up on what we’re doing. As long as its something that gives us an opportunity to interact, we’re both being respectful, and just vibing, I think I’ll have a good time.”
Lady #20 “My ideal date would be dinner at his OWN (not parents) spot. Home made by him….giving us a chance to talk. Then after dinner, a show or play or movie some type of entertainment. Followed by a walk outside, in the city, with some beautiful scenery… walking to an ice cream shop, or bakery, or café with amazing dessert…then walking home and either saying goodnight, or saying good morning depending on how it went and how I’m feeling after an eventful night”
Lady#12 “I guess an ideal first date would be a walk through a museum/sculpture garden. It would have to be a calm atmosphere but still fun and a good environment for conversation. I have not been on a date in so long I honestly don’t know what would be an ideal date. I just like to laugh and have fun”
Lady#15 “ummm, I’m a dinner and a movie kind of girl. But for dinner I like to go somewhere new that is fun. Like this place in uptown called chino latino…”
Lady#40” I honestly don’t have one. As long as it’s not the cliché dinner & a movie, I’m fine”
Lady#50 “My ideal date would be a dinner on a rooftop overlooking the city and then somewhere where there is live music.”
Lady#4” ok fine… My ideal date is going to a lake where u can get on a the little boats that u pedal to move… always wanted to do that…then maybe go to a restaurant where they cook the food right in fron of you…afterwards a drive in movie. Simple”
Lady#11”My ideal date would be somewhere that I could have fun with the person I’m with. I live to be active so maybe dance lessons or live music. It gives me the opportunity to have relaxed fun. After the fun, dinner somewhere intimate, that we can share good conversation, then depending on who it is and
the type of relationship we have, a good movie at his or her place, maybe make rice krispy’s J”
Lady#44 “umm I like dates like dave & busters and stuff like that”
Lady #17 “I’m not into big over the top date planning, so going for pasta, a jass concert or dessert is perfect. If the mood and weather are right, a walk around a waterfront or St. Anthony Main area would complete me”
Lady #53 My ideal date includes uninterrupted attention from my date. My date gives me his full attention and vice versa. This alone creates a perfect atmosphere and makes whatever we are doing very personal”
My favorite: Lady # 21 “ ummmmmmmmm I’m a dave n busters type of chick….he gotta have on a collared shirt, cuz a nigga in a t-shirt gets no play, hopefully he let me win a couple games and we can get some snacks n shit he would be cute to share a slushi but then afterwards we can hit the club or something”
YES THAT WAS REAL!!!
Lady# 2 “An ideal first date…I guess something fun like maybe a class of some type cooking, painting idk. So we stay active so if its awkward or silent ur doing something. And for a person you’re into something more romantic maybe, then I wouldn’t mind like a nice dinner or something like that”
Lady #39” Location really wouldn’t matter. As long as I’m somewhere quiet and antisocial from the world. All cellphones off with a romantic atmosphere or a comical one because I like humor… I’m a minimal type chick so my response would differ from the others”
Lady # 60 “A walk around a lake watching the sunset. Then go out to dinner at a place that has a live band with jazz or r&b music for the grown and sexy crowd”
Lady#1 I like to keep moving, so you can be distracted in what we are doing, like hike somewhere to paddle boat, have a little picnic, ya know something nice………………anything but sitting across from a table starring into their eyes being awkward.”
Lady #8 “Anywhere where the atmosphere is fun and competitive, bowling, a bar with darts, pool, air hockey, etc. Nothing too serious, I like to have fun and I’m all for competitive banter.
Lady# 59 “ Mine personally? Horseback riding through woods to with intense conversation all day. Stopping for a picnic for lunch, Light dinner with s’mores and riding back under the sunset…”
THAT’S ALL FOLKS,