I have an idea for your next post. I have some friends who are single moms. They are intelligent, educated,responsible, and Sexy. This particular group of single moms all have bachelor degrees and some working on their masters. We were discussing dating and what thats like for them and most of them said they hated trying to date because sooner than later they would have to tell the guy that they are moms and once that came out the man was quick to bounce. And part of that was when do you tell them in the beginning (but then they might not be able to see past the fact you got kids) or after you get to know them and they get to know who you are (is that stringing the guy along)Do you think most men would react in this way? Have you guys dated women who have a child? If so what was that like and what is your viewpoint on this? Are these single ladies doomed? Looking forward to seeing your opinions.
As we get older, we can’t help but be more open to the idea of talking to a woman with a chap. Each year that passes, I see more and more mfer’s having kids, and unfortunately, for reasons I can’t seem to wrap my head around, Dad’s, more often than not, still choose to be deadbeats.
That being said, I understand why men run for cover once they find out a chick has a child. I’ll give you four really valid reasons.
1. It’s a fucking kid. Lol. Meaning automatic responsibility. Early on in a relationship, that’s a lot to take in, so rather than choose to get to know what could be a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful woman, they’ll opt to ride out and find one without the toddler sized “baggage.”
2. They may want to start a family of their own with the woman they choose to marry. No matter how much a man loves you or your child, at the end of the day, the lil mufucker ain’t his, which directly coincides with reason #3.
3. BABY DADDY’S — NOBODY wants to deal with a baby daddy. Shit. Most WOMEN don’t even want to deal with their baby daddy’s, so it’s understandable.
4. This last reason, is assuming you and the guy actually date awhile. He’s met your chap, met your family, been to some Christmas dinner’s – all that jazz. Suddenly, shit goes awry, you guy’s break up. DAMN! Now the nigga has to break up with not only you, but you AND your child. Breaking up with mufucker’s is hard AS. IS. Adding a kid to the equation is enough pressure to make a nigga accidently marry a bitch (excuse my French). How the fuck you break up with a kid who’s giving you the Puss and Boots eyes? *cue violin – eyes grow and moisten – lips pout* Hell naw. The shit’s impossible.
There ya go.
4 very solid reasons.
Now, have I ever dated a woman with a child? Yes. Several actually. And I’ll tell you why and some of the perks that come along with (fellas).
There are two very good reasons to talk to a woman with a child.
1. They’re usually – emphasis on USUALLY – more mature than a woman without one.
Why you ask? Well, mainly because they have to be. They’re mothers. They were obligated to stop losing their minds well before their childless counterparts – meaning, they probably had to stop being a hoe if they were one (let’s be honest here), they had to stop being out all night, if they were bud smokers, they probably smoke less, drinkers, drink less — just comes with the territory. And this obligatory maturity is extremely attractive – at least to a nigga like me.
2. They usually – again, emphasis on USUALLY – have their shit together.
I.E. They have a whip and/ or crib and a job. AND they’re probably in school. Women with kids are some of the hardest grinders known to modern man, and THAT shit’s attractive.
The big question here is, ARE THESE BEAUTIFUL – INTELLIGENT – STROLLER PUSHING – PAMPER BAG TOTING – APPLE SAUCE STAIN HAVING WOMEN DOOOOOMEEDDDDD? Destined for a lonely life of reality TV, wine, and play dates with other single baby-boasting bitter bitches (again – excuse my French -alliteration).
The short answer? No.
No you are not doomed.
You just have to be patient. There are plenty of dudes out here who date woman with children. Believe it or not, that doesn’t intimidate everyone. If you’re truly smart, goal oriented, sexy, etc — all that will overshadow the fact that you have a child. A real man – to reiterate – REAL man, won’t let a little “baggage” stop him from courting someone who could potentially be the real deal. Because the real deal is HARD. TO. FIND. —- Speaking from experience, with my single ass.
My advice to you, is to be upfront. Don’t HIDE it. If you’re upfront you’ll save yourself some time by weeding out the “runners” right from jump.
Until next time,
Join the Movement #BeSquare