The 3 P's: A Bluffer's Best Friend
Before we even get started I want you to take a second to think of the biggest bluffer you know. We all know AT LEAST one bluffer, so if you’re having a hard time thinking of one I’ll give you another second….
Now you could be having a hard time with figuring out what a bluffer is altogether. In that case Urban Dictionary and I will help you.
|acuse really means excuse, forgive this poor soul|
You may have noticed that urbandictionary.com uses the term bluff instead of bluffer. They say tomato, I say tomahto. According to D-Frankly I reserve the right to make up words whenever I please because I have a college degree, so I choose to exercise that right for the remainder of this post.
Nonetheless, think of a bluffer as someone who says that they will do things they have absolutely NO plans on doing, like borrowing your money and claiming that they’ll pay you back. The thought never even crossed their mind. You can also think of someone that says they will be at an event or activity that they know damn well they won’t be attending, like shorty you were supposed to kick it with over the weekend that suddenly got plans, or the friend that never showed up at your get together. There are many ways a person can bluff you but these are the first examples that come to mind.
Now that you have someone in mind, think of the excuses they gave you for being M.I.A. at said events and for not following through on a favor or repaying their debt. There are three words that usually give subtle hints that some one may be bluffing you. I call them the three P’s:
Probably, Possibly, and Perhaps.
Because I know it may be difficult to think of one of these scenarios off hand I will provide you with some examples that you may have encountered.
You borrowed a friend some money out of the kindness of your heart, and do so with no intention on asking them for the money back. A week or two pass and the two of you are discussing money and they randomly bring up the money that you borrowed them: “Aye fam, Ima probably have that money I owe you next week.”
In this situation they know damn well they NEVER planned on paying that money back. However, the topic of money has come up and your pockets may be struggling so their conscience kicked in, thus they felt a need to justify their actions. I understand that I may have paid that $10 for you to get in the club and bought you $20 worth of drinks, but if you don’t have it, you don’t have it. Don’t lie to me. C’mon now, we’re friends aren’t we?
Keep it 100 with me and just say “Man…it’s tight”, I can actually respect that.
You contact an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while and tell them that you two should get up sometime soon. You propose the idea of a happy hour and ask when they will be available. Their response? “I may be free this Friday possibly“.
Possibly huh? Possibly as in you may already have a prior engagement, or possibly as in you’re going to flake? Smh. I’m assuming the latter, because if we were friends I’d assume you would have told me you had a prior engagement right after you told me “possibly”.
You and your friends are thinking about having a night on the town to unwind. While speaking with another friend of yours you mention that you will be stepping out and that they should join you. Their response: “I may slide through there with y’all, perhaps“. Now focus on PERHAPS, that’s the key word here. This is what we call a cop out. That way if they don’t end up coming through, they can always remind you that they never actually said they would come for certain, they said they would come PERHAPS.
|Look at that smirk. Does this look like a man you can trust? Perhaps.|
Do any of these sound familiar to you? I’d hope so, because if not then I may be in for a rude awakening if this only happens to me.
Although these are the most common lines bluffers use, I will admit these aren’t the only lines you’ll encounter. I do my best to be as honest as I can, but every blue moon I will find myself trying to be nice and sparing someones feelings by bluffing them. I like to be original though, so I try to get creative when I do. Instead of using one of the three P’s I like to use the following line: “We’ll see what’s up”. This is my way of saying “Maybe, maybe not”, and if the situation warrants “I will get back to you”. I’m a fan on this line because it can be used in many situations. Try it.
Is this the smoothest line? No, not at all. But it’s effective and it can throw people off, that’s the key. When people get thrown off they make assumptions, those assumptions can work in your favor.
No more freebies though, I can’t expose myself.
Long story short, look out for the three P’s. Probably, Possibly, Perhaps. And if you catch somebody bluffing you, call them out. #NoCountryForBluffing in 2012.