Some of the things said on social networking sites, especially on twitter can ignite a firestorm of controversy, discussion, backlash or unity.
The simplest of tweets from a celebrity can stir emotions in the most avid lovers (haters) alike. The topic usually is something sinister because someone mentioned someone now people are spreading rumors that they have kids, married and divorced twice already, then Mr. (Mrs.) know it all comes in with the tweet to shame everyone like,
“oh I been knew they were creeping since last year, ya’ll late”
People like this always irk me but #carryON.
Recently, I tweeted two things separately that caused a small firestorm, (15 instant mentions) is a firestorm to me. #smallMOVES but nonetheless most of the mentions were either folks agreeing or disagreeing with the said statements but mostly out of context.
Now you all probably know that on twitter lengthy discussions between me and someone can kick off in a heartbeat and like my Hardee’s hating brutha @ztunna11 said,
“I’m (him) charitable when it comes to debates/discussions”
I can’t help myself sometimes from budding into someone else’s conversations or rants just to be interactive. Nonetheless, this topic I felt deserved special attention because of the backlash and praise (out of context) that transpired.
My first tweet came to me inspired by #1omf RT of one of their peeps.
Tweet #1: “Let’s Be Clear, A black Woman dating a white man is NOT self-hate”
Tweet #2: “A black woman who will ONLY date a white man IS self-hating”
When it comes to interracial dating I’m quick to jump in because there are generations of self-hate and Afro-Pessimism that fuel ignorant responses or suggestions from one fool to the next. I take it as my personal responsibility to shed some light to logic and truth the best I know how about issues and scenarios that will directly impact my people and future generations. So I take this opportunity to elaborate on what each tweet means and what rational supports them.
For Starters there is not anything wrong, malicious or sinful about inter-racial dating, marriage or conception. For starters we all know; or should know, race is a socially constructed concept but ethnicity, tribalism and origin are not. People are distinctively different, socially, culturally, and etc.
But at the root of everything we are human beings first and that is something we all share regardless of where we are born or what society we are socialized to live in. It should be understood there is nothing against any group of people marrying another group.
Secondly, love and marriage or the prior stages are a beautiful thing and should be respected because of their rareness and difficulty to develop, maintain and fragility.
Thirdly, when Love is pure it does not discriminate, hate or hurt.
With that said we need to examine some logic as well. If the love is pure then one can love and not discriminate or hold prejudice against something else simultaneously.
Now the first tweet came about because I wanted some bruthas and sistas to know that because a man or woman ends up dating someone outside of their constructed box of race; it is not self-hating. I know this may seem farfetched to some folks but people actually fall in love with other people, I know it’s crazy but believe me it happens from time to time and sometimes that other person happens to be white, or native, or black. The way certain things transpire and how most people date out of convenience results often times in relationships that are products of who is around them. But this is a pure situation with someone falling for someone else. GREAT!!!
But my second tweet had to clear up some other things because folks were taking my first one out of context. (go figure)
IF a person will only date outside of their race then there is a degree of self-hatred present and it is in the very nature of excludism (new word + 2 degree = I can do that) they are exhibiting.
What makes this person self-hating is the fact they are excluding from any possible scenario another person who happens to be the same as them.
So a black man who will ONLY date white women, when the case is he is black speaks to an issue about himself. There is either something about black women and/or being black that he dislikes, disapproves of, hates, wishes not exist and etc. For him to exclude an entire group of people; who are like him, and then to make a concentrated effort to target women of other races is a form of self-hatred.
–(I’m not a Sociologist, relationship expert or English major so my terminology may not be entirely accurate but I’m articulating my best to describe the concept hope you catch it)–
Not only are they displaying a form of prejudice against one’s self (own) they are also discriminating in a way that’s destructive. Their efforts although maybe not verbalized are actively saying through their actions that these women (men) are less thanor are tainted for whatever reason and refuse to partake in any romantic or social relationship with them.
I have said before that if one so happens to end up with someone of another race then it is fine because that is how the chips fell but for one to view women(men) of the same (similar) ethnic background as less than or marred when you yourself come from similar heritage is crazy. Usually, I try to write in a neutral position to pose a thought to the audience but I have my footing square on this one and it is simply insane to hold such degenerative doctrine in one’s heart.
|Self-Love is Beautiful
There is not a valid reason why one could adore and desire some particular group of
women (men) when they simultaneously degrade, insult and discriminate against another group ESPECIALLY when you are a member of the group you are spitefully against. I have not been able to logically wrap my mind around such areas of thought to sympathize and understand with said person but if one of you reading can understand how someone can hold this belief and not be self-hating I do encourage you to comment as yourself or anonymously to enlighten me and the fellow squares.
I end this abruptly because anything else written will only repeat previous points or go deeper down the rabbit hole when we can stay on the surface for this one.
– TO THY SELF BE TRUE
-There isn’t anything wrong with interracial dating
-There is something wrong with being an exclusionist ESPECIALLY when you are a member of the group you are excluding
-Don’t allow your preference to be fueled by hate/prejudice
– Love is pure and fully capable of loving without prejudice
Until Next Time—