What’s good, Squares?
How fast is this fucking year going? Word? Mid March? Did this month not just start, or am I trippin? This living for the weekend nonsense is TOO real. It’s like blur, blur blur, WEEKEND, blur, blur , blur, WEEKEND. What have I fuggin accomplished? Not a GOT damn thang smh. I need to shape up for I blink and be 26 wondering what happened.
But I digress.
Though time’s flying, 2013 is still fairly fresh. I’m sure a handful of y’all are still fucking up and writing 2012 on ish. It’s cool. No one’s judging you. But me. And I don’t matter. Just a young man with holes in his drawers – not all of them – but some of them jawns do kind of look like I had a dream with Freddy in it.
But again . . . I digress.
Since there’s still a lot of 2013 left, I’ve decided to put yall up on the New Waves of 2013. If you’re unfamiliar with the term New Wave– it can be generically defined as, “that new hot shit” — basically, something everyone should adopt. That is, if they want to stroll with the cool kids. Not saying I’m cool or anything, but uh, I do wear prescription Ray Bans. But my drawers have holes in them, so you can take what I say with a grain of salt. I’m the shit in my head.
New Wave: 2013
1. Google +
I downloaded the Google + app a GOOD ass minute ago, but never opened it. I accidentally opened that jawn the other day and was presently surprised. It’s clean as shit – sleek – user friendly – really, everything you want in an app. And that circle shit POPS. You no longer have to worry about your coworkers/ family seeing the ignorant shit you post for your friends, because they’re not a part of your friend circle. Shit, you don’t even have to have the people you barely like see ish. You can just throw them in your acquaintance circle. Let’s be honest here, it’s a genius idea. It needs to be the new wave. Because Facebook can kiss. My. ASS! With it’s tongue out. After I just used a public restroom without putting any toilet paper down on the seat.
I can’t STAND a Facebook these days. All I see is baby pics, and memes, and baby pics, ignorant ass status’s, and engagements, and break ups, and pics of diseased as children, and. . . it’s just too much. And you know them jokers have the nerve to be charging a DOLLAR for you to message a stranger? The fuck, Facebook? They’ve been on one since they went public. I ain’t got time.
Google + ß Hop on it.
Yeah, I know, I know. Voxer was the new wave, LAST year. BUT who’s still using that jawn? No one. Why not? I have no idea. The shit STILL pops. It’s better than texting, but just as quick. NO ONE likes talking on the phone, but it still allows you to hear folks voices. I say it’s win-win got schnabit.
Voxer ß Hop on it.
Swag needs to die in 2013. I’ve had enough of it. Everything is swag. Wearing two different color shoes is swag. Having a multicolored Mohawk is swag. Paying your light bill on time is swag. Let’s leave swag for the children, shall we?
The new word? Swank. It’s grown. It’s sexy. It’s the new wave.
When I hear swank I see mufucker’s in suits, ties, bow ties, clean cuts, sharp shades, jeans that fit, shoes you can’t hoop in, heels, little black dresses, pants suits, hair whipped — just CLEAN – or swank. I don’t see mohawks, boxes, half shaved heads, graphic t’s, camo shorts, cheetah leggings, Jordans, Jordan heels. Nah, none of that. That’s swag. Y’all can keep it.
Swank ßhop on it.
4. Who Cares
Now this little gem is just a way of life. A phrase you should live by. We spend entirely too much time caring what other mufucker’s think. Do YOU. You know why? Who cares? In the grand scheme of things, the only person that should be worried about you, is you. Everything else is gonna do what it do. And I just rhymed on yall. So in 2013 – give a fuck less what people think, or what other folks got going on. It will make the world a better place.
Who Cares ßHop on it.
5. Omelette’s with Hash Browns Stuffed in Them
Hot damn. If you haven’t tried this, you are missing out, my friend. You. Are. Missing. OUT. I’m pretty sure it’s the hardest I’ve ever came. Like I damn near bent my fork. Gooder than a mufucker just don’t describe it. I’ll never eat an omelet sans hash browns ever again. Ever. New Wave.
The Young Hash Brown Omelette Combo ß Hop on it.
6. Black Love
This shit . . . just needs to stop . . . like 150+ years ago. Why are we our biggest enemies? Why do we hate on each other at every opportunity? Dark Skinned Niggas this. Light Skinned Bitches that. Black women this. Black men that. Just stop the shit. Seriously. We will NEVER be more than the fucking laughing stock of the entire world if we don’t change our ways now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But now. I can’t even stomach it anymore. Like, I may stop fucking with black folks myself if this shit doesn’t cease and desist. Real rip. We’re the ONLY demographic that slanders itself. Do you ignorant mufuckers realize that? Do you understand how it makes us look? You wonder why we can’t make any progress. Why we’re at the bottom of every positive statistical category and at the top of every negative. It’s because we have no fucking unity. And we never will at this rate. Why? Because we’re constantly reinforcing the shit – teaching our children to hate each other, and they’ll teach THEIR children to hate each other. Ugh.
Sorry — this is a sensitive subject for me. I love my people. I love y’all. I really do. I just can’t seem to comprehend why don’t love each other. Shit hurts.
Black Love ßHop on it.
Aright…now I’m worked up. I hope yall enjoyed the post. If you have some New Waves we should consider, drop them in the comment section.
Join the Movement #SQUARES Unite