Sophisti-Ratchet Open Mic #1: Gentrify Yo Body, Gurl!

Sophisti-Ratchet Open Mic #1: Gentrify Yo Body, Gurl!

Hey Hey Hey! It’s FAAAAAAAAAAT ALBERT!
No, it’s really just Danez ‘TwerkSum’ Smith in a red sweater eating some chicken. I’m dumb excited to start blogging for Circle of Squares. It’s like finally getting to eat at the cool table at lunch in 8th grade and no one says anything about your fake Lugz Boots (I know, I know 1. Who had Lugz? & 2. Who had fake versions of those off brand boots? Me! Ok? Ya Happy?).

Blogging is fairly new for me, I usually get down with words in the form of poetry, so this is my one foot in the door entry into this. Ok? Let’s do this like Chingy is not doing his career… Successfully and worth paying attention to! (Shots fired? I think not, it’s Ching-A-Ling we’re talking about.)

Things you need to know about this poem:
1. Gentrification is real. Like Foreal Real. 
Don’t believe me? Drive through AnyHood, USA and count the number of Trader Joe’s popping up next to the Popeye’s, or even better, go knock on your neighbors door. I’ll wait… It wasn’t old Ms. Jenkins with a piece of pound cake, huh? It was Molly McMollyman with a vegan, traditional Native American Curry dish she found on Pinterest. People, Hipsters are coming for your hood and they brought their bikes with them!
They are coming for your Grandmama’s crib! Beware!
2. I’m crazy, not really, but really. One of the village members in my head is this wonderful little lady named Vivian Loraine. She is a ‘working-girl’, 72 years young, and she is about her scrilla.
Welcome to my brain! We got fun & games!
Ok, now the poem.
Vivian Lorain Updates Her Services For The New Neighbors 

This here pussy got a Whole Foods,
two vegan cafes. This pussy ride a bike to work.
This pussy got an MFA, is a trained Doula,
went to Lewis and Clark for undergrad.
This pussy got tickets to Woodstock,
Rock The Bells, and Lilith Fair. This pussy
don’t own a TV. Pussy got a community garden.
It recycle and compost, got new trees and soil.
This here sweet stuff got no added sweeteners.
This here raw sugar. This here local honey.
This here got solar panels and electric cars.
So good got a neighborhood watch.
This stuff got a low crime rate.
This pussy a good place to raise your kids.
This here got a cupcake shop. This here
got a pet store, got a vet, got a dog park too.
This pussy got reasonable property taxes.
My sweetness not far from downtown.
This on the bus line. This here
got a YMCA. This here got boarded up
storefronts and possibility. This pussy got new
condos and houses you can fix up. This here
got a farmer’s market on Sunday, two agnostic churches.
This here pussy diverse.
This melting pot, come while this here
still ain’t mainstream. This safe enough
for the fresh outta school, the dreamer
dressed in cloud skin, the cool and the hip
-ster, come rub on this hip, sir. Move in, come
on down, make yourself at home.
Fin

——————————————————————

 

Whoooooo, that was a lot of P. But P and Poetry aside, All these things aren’t bad. People of Color would actually benefit from a lot of these things, but the displacement of our people is not whats up in these streets. So unless you want your local black & brown neighborhood to look like an episode of Friends (you know, NYC with not 1 POC), lets start thinking of ways to cool gentrification out and keep Grandma sitting pretty on the porch.
Peace Signs,
Danez TwerkSum
They’re getting closer!!!!!!!!!!!

Join the Movement #SQUARES Unite
Share