Hey y’all it has been a while but I have something for us to talk about and think about.
Why do women cheat?
Why do men cheat?
We all ask these dumb questions as if people do not cheat by choice. Forced cheating has yet to be reported in my learned history but I digress.
I looked at two of the leading causes (depends which report) of divorce in America and the results were pretty humorous. The #1 and #2 causes of divorce are Finances and Infidelity.
Ha Finances??? Waa Infidelity?
These are no laughing matters but I quickly made assumptions as Men were the primary (not only) culprits of infidelity and women the primary (not only) divorcers because of finances. I cannot imagine a man saying well baby we aren’t making x anymore so we need to split. But it is possible.
I know these are based in stereotypes but let us explore some basic ideas of why the average man and woman decide to be with someone seriously (marriage) and then see if there is something to gleam from these stereotypes which can be factual.
So why does the average man (60-80% of all men) decide to be with a woman seriously (marriage)? Well that depends on who you ask but we can be safe and say things like deep communication, understanding, empathy and great network of friends are not mentioned. I mean squares can I be honest with you? I’ve been the average guy before (past tense). I know average guys, I know average guys with tons of money, some with no education, and plenty with degrees or two jobs but it all really boils down to few things for the average guy, (over-simplification approaching but work with me).
The average man will want to become serious (marriage) with the average woman primarily because he’s able to have sex like a porn star with her. Not saying porn star because that is what a man idolizes but the ability to have limitless possibilities in the bedroom is everything. What? Did you think I was not going to say it?
I told y’all let’s cut the fat and be real here. You’ve seen 30 for 30 “broke”. You know average guys who are only with a girl because she does anything he wants in the bedroom, bathroom or kitchen. I mean I know average guys who are paying for the girl who does everything’s house, car, they have joint accounts, paying for kid’s ballet lessons. I mean there is no limit to what the average man will do for the woman who STMO and more. You laugh or maybe you scoff at these comments but I’m only telling the truth about the matter.
When it all boils down to it; no matter how dumb and basic, the woman who is going nuts in the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, usually will be chosen by the average guy for something serious.
Now I’ll be real and honest. The question posed to women: If you had to choose between marrying for love or marrying for stability, all of them said if they had to choose they’d choose marry for stability. Now men may not like this but she may not love you or ever will but your stability which brings security, financially preferred, and mentally, not crazy.
This is a hard pill for most men to swallow but sorry bruh there is a great chance she is with you or will marry you because you are stable. Security is huge for women especially the average woman who doesn’t essentially require more than security and basic attraction. But security is no small deal. Security takes financial and personal maturation.
This is not by any means a sugar daddy to pay her way but if she at any time questions the security of her future with you she is going to be considerably less likely to choose you. Of course she would prefer to be attracted to you, and be in love and emotionally attached your visions and dreams but she would also like to not have to worry about the lights being off when she comes home. Her desires for security and the option to take a trip and enjoy her security with you trump love.
This isn’t conclusive or all inclusive either but again for the average woman and average man you can almost rest assured these guiding principles are on point. So when an article illustrates why men pay for sex and why women seek to leave unstable marriages we can trace it back to the undertones of what average people are satisfied with as basic requirements to make something serious (marriage).
I feel everyone before marriage ought to watch all of Chris Rock’s HBO specials because when it comes to (average) relationships he is spot on. Women do not go backwards in terms of lifestyles when they seek out a new mate. If her last boo always picked her up she isn’t going to be content with catching the bus with you.
For men we don’t go backwards in terms of our sexual lifestyle. So if a man’s last girl STMO tri-weekly he will not go back to talking to a girl who doesn’t at all. You cannot be mad at him just know you better STMO because she has raised the bar sexually for him.
Only once the average man and woman mature; do they not only require stability or wild fun but degrees of compatibility, emotionally, spiritually, similar goals and desires, humor, communication, understanding, ability to tag team a business setting etc. This isn’t something to frown at but accept it or step your game up. Some people have and are okay with average. A lot of people are average and there isn’t anything wrong with that. It is what it is no less than or more than anything else. Just know that if you are messing with average you know what you are getting into for the rest of your life!
That’s all folks!
Tell me what you think and if these generalities fit more or less in society full of average. I know everyone doesn’t believe they are average but everyone isn’t cool, or great some are just average! Now if you read this post and only take from it that all men want is sex and all women want is a sugar daddy you clearly missed the point and this blog is not for you. This is just an idea as to why some things are the way they are…
In due time we will meet again,