Guest Blog by @onenashan :A young corporate world sistah who is making moves in the nation’s capitol. Listen up she has something to say!!!
I am often asked to blog or post for my homies, but I always hesitate as I don’t really fit neatly into any category of women. Thus I likely wouldn’t appeal to any particular audience. It seems more often than not the general population within our peer group fits nicely on either of these two spectrums: You’ve got your “Soul Sistah” (strong independent and don’t need no body not EVAH black woman) who leads a life semi-rebelliously and accommodates no male (or person for that matter), and then you’ve got your “Traditional
Sistah”, raised in a good ol’ two parent home, who goes off to college(mostly because it’s expected of her), returns home to play her important role in her family, and ultimately start her own. These seem to each come with their respective stereo types. Traditional women are prude and narrow minded, while modern women are exhilarating and intellectual. I’m not so convinced though. Of course there are women who lie somewhere in between the two. Yet, while we would never admit it, most of us are not that well-rounded, perfectly balanced lady in the middle. Most of our asses fall closer to one extreme or another. That is fine. Neither is better. And as the saying goes, “different strokes, for different folks!”
All in all, I think it’s fair to state the latter “Traditional Sistah”, seems to get the bulk of bad press. Now a days, it is like a cardinal sin for a woman; a modern, educated, sophisticated, accomplished woman, to proclaim, admit or divulge that she WANTS a family, and WANTS to be married. People scoff at the notion or dismiss the woman as meek, docile, co-dependent and downright backward. I struggle with the fact that strength is often associated with independence. I mean, I am in fact a single woman, living in a large metropolitan city, who can fervently appreciate the struggles of independence and the wherewithal it has afforded me. Yet, I could never claim to be stronger, smarter, or better off for it than a woman who has experienced less than I, or different than I. You see, it comes NATURALLY to me to be strong. I have always been self absorbed, self assured, and self aware (those who know me can attest lol). It’s intrinsically who I am BUT…
Is there really strength in doing what comes naturally to you?
In life, the most challenging hurdles for me have been those that required humility, open mindedness, tactful communication and awareness of OTHERS and my effect on them. Pretty much learning to use my dominant traits to initiate favorable outcomes. That said, I look forward to living for others one day. For my husband, for my children, for my community. I anticipate the day I stand beside someone I trust and respect enough to swallow my ego for. I want to serve, to nurture and satisfy my HUSBAND one day. I believe in and value the institution of marriage and WANT it. I am open to receiving that. I know that does not make me less intelligent, less independent, less powerful or bold of a woman, in fact I think it affirms why I am all of the above.
Do I want to be that top notch corporate lawyer, kickin’ ass and taking names? Absolutely. Do I want to continue climbing the corporate ladder, and start my own non-profit? No doubt. I NEED to accomplish those things, it feeds the competitive and dominant nature in me and serves my passions. That is ALL a part of me. A core and necessary part of me. However, there is another side to me, of greater value (dare I say) that wants to conquer that which is most difficult to me, and do so within the safety of a bond with my HUSBAND, a LEADER and PROTECTOR and PARTNER. In the end, when all is said and done, it would be great for people to remember me for all the self serving accomplishments I reached, but the greatest piece of my legacy would ideally be that I was a great MOTHER, A truly fulfilling WIFE. For me, those two would be among the highest honors.
So while I get it, the independent journey is important. The beauty in the independent journey is that it helps you learn your limits, what you are/aren’t capable of, what you can/cannot accept, and all other boundaries. Yet, if a woman has the self awareness to accompany her desire for companionship, it is not a bad thing. That’s right. I said it. It’s okay to admit you want a man. Cut the “Traditional Sistah” some slack.
Follow our guest blogger @onenashan on twitter to keep up with her rather interesting journey in corporate America