Over the past few months I have time to read a lot. When I say a lot I mean a lot; perhaps four books and three 60+ page essays and everyday searching tweets in order to understand the mindset of the generation I find myself in. For many of you reading someone else’s tweets is a prohibited activity because of your self-imposed cool restrictions… I suffer from no such handicaps and frequently peruse through the vortex of the twitter verse clicking on random person’s names and viewing TL’s and rants which leads me to a random RT that caught my eye which leads to one person out of the last 15 who I end up following.
I do it because this is the closest we will ever get in society to reading someone’s mind. I read feminists, republicans, racists, bigots, womanizers, man eaters, hoes, ratchets, pastors, choir boys, pew warriors, artists, rappers, singers, academics and wall street alums just to grasp the vast amount of information out there that we are constantly sharing and ultimately exposing our inner most thoughts with subtle three word phrases or as of late emoticons which describe the face, action or reaction to God knows what.
Throughout the course of my reading of tweets, books, blogs, scholarly articles and such I have come to the realization that we do not know how to truly interact with living breathing human beings. This isn’t an unabashed attempt to say we are inhuman but we as a collective are becoming more and more inhuman, insensitive and haughty in poor judgment.
Case 1. and Point 1:
Dating in the 21st century is everything but what we have been told, sold and taught to believe. The simplicity of boy meets girl, girls likes boy are long long long gone. Our parents’ constantly remind us of simpler times when they met in college or high school or at the park/rec center @ the concession stand. Dad kept flirting with Mom while buying 5cent laffy taffy before basketball practice. Today… where do Moms and Dads meet…? I’ll let you answer… but the disconnection of our society has shifted ironically because of the connection of our society; here is what I mean.
Ironically enough at no other time in the world has it been easier to seemingly connect with people. The social media, social network, social hangouts of the internet have quietly and humbly replaced the real world social hangouts or what some people refer to third places (the place between work and home). Because of the rapid expansion of technology into our lives we are no longer in need of face to face human interaction. We have for the most part eliminated all meaningful contact with people for a 3×5 screen that we touch on in hopes the picture will enlarge.
One could argue that the purest human attraction comes from body language and personal room presence. When a man or woman walks into the room and according to your respective tastes cannot help but notice them you are engulfed with curiosity, excitement and this A word which is (initial) attraction. It is from the initial attraction that women signal through (VERY CONFUSING SIGNALS) to men that they are interested and wish for them to approach or pursue. It is also during this time men signal and respond to nonverbal cues from women with body language and posture that they are as well interested. This aspect of the game has been slightly impaired because of our constant head and nose down in our cell phones behavior but for the most part we still make it do what it do.
Only in the next step are we all in trouble. Men struggle, have no idea or are simply inexperienced in the approach and opening while women struggle, have no idea or are simply inexperienced in carrying his approach to the non-awkward stage of communication, even though both parties wish to pursue each other; or so they thought before those words were spoken. From reading and seeing the countless tweets and the numerous conversations I have had with men and women it appears there is no other part of life that technology’s impact can be seen in the current generation than in the person-to-person–face-to-face communication, magnified in attraction.
As a collective we are becoming less apt to “go for the kill” as men because we can take the “water path” — path of least resistance—in talking to her which for most is not the straight line across the classroom, plaza or cafeteria but via twitter, facebook or instagram. We as a collective, not as individuals because some of us are still raised and taught to be personable and what have you but the courage of a few doesn’t transfer over unto the majority. Most are happy with twitter and facebook game and do to the reluctance of women, they still GO. Sure distance may be the virtuous explanation behind your DM macking but that’s another post.
Ladies, I will not leave ya’ll behinds out of this either… But that and the rest will be included in Part #2 of the series… Let’s take the first piece and digest, discuss and see what may be wrong with it or right with it and let’s improve it. I’m open for discourse about it all. So let us begin…
RANTS::: Moments I hate: You’re at a get together or BBQ and everyone is on their phones playing a game or tweeting or texting people that aren’t in the room or even worse… they’re in the room BUT. There is Barely any conversation any laughs any eye contact just heads down… looking around and wasting great opportunities for fun… ANYWHO
Thanking You in Advance,