Blog Table: Would you give up WHAT you love, for WHO you love?

Blog Table: Would you give up WHAT you love, for WHO you love?


Since it’s the quote unquote “love” month, we at cos thought it’d be fitting to address an age old question: 

Would you give up WHAT you love, for WHO you love? 

At some point in everyone’s life, this question comes up. Maybe you got a job offer in another state. Maybe you got accepted into a different college than your high school sweet heart. Whatever the case, the question comes up. And when it does, your forced to have that internal argument no one enjoys having; the argument between one’s heart and mind.


Vanessa M: If I chose the most shallow parts of me, those being my “love” of shoes, clothes and bad  tv, I’d say absolutely. Since I’m now a adult, establishing what makes me get up in the morning and having that thing NOT be children (yet), it’s safe to say I want to be my own person with my own interests. As a couple who are both in the creative field, we live for what we love to do. When we play that tug of war so often for each other’s attention, it becomes working against rather than with. I can’t give up part of me, and I don’t want him to sacrifice that part of him. Working together seems to be the way to go, but if this is about the love of ourselves, both egos have to die

Private Theory: How does one not give up “what” an inanimate object without life but full of pleasure and joy for a “who” who is personable and able to reciprocate with wit and creatively while simultaneously pumping love, joy and pleasure into your life. The what in one’s life can never replace or suffice long enough to replace a “who”. When “whats” are >greater than> “whos” imbalance is multiplied as desires for reciprocated exchanges are never achievable from “what”. Despite your “what” being a source of love–your “who” should work to incorporate “it” into both of your lives. Hope that made cents #change…!

MicRNS: Hmm. I don’t think I could be happy without all the things I love to do. Say — I was, I don’t know, a big time Hollywood screenwriter, so I had to be in LA 95% of the year, and my “love” had to relocate to England for work. Uh . . . it’s tight. I’ll wish her the best of luck. That being said, I really don’t think I’d ever be forced to choose because: 1. “what” I love should be part of the reason she fell in love with me to begin with. And 2.  I refuse to. Simple as that. Love isn’t something I feel is particularly rare. There’s a million women in this world I could potentially fall in love with, which is why I would never compromise who I am (because what I do is who I am) for a woman–for love. As fucked up as that may sound. 

D- Frankly: This is a loaded question that I think everyone will differ on. For me, I think when you find the right person who’s goals are aligned with yours in some shape or form, neither party will have to “give up” anything so to speak. So for example, you may meet someone who is currently far away from you as you both begin to set up yourselves for the future…but down the line you both know you want to end up in XYZ place doing XYZ occupation and such. At this age though, if you have not established yourself and someone is trying to talk you out of fulfilling your dreams to be close or near them…is it really love? As I read Private Theory’s response…I think I just said the same thing as him…without all the who’s and what’s. LOL! 

Q Guru: For me I think the answer to this question changes depending on who the “WHO” is. If we’re talking about my family — namely my mother and my 3 siblings — then yes I’d probably give up what I love. Because quite frankly I’ve sacrificed plenty for them already in my life. But if we’re talking about a love interest, sadly I’d have to say no. At this point in life I’m too focused on trying to better myself — becoming a better person, becoming a better man, sharpening the my skills and acquiring new skills that will allow me to excel, accomplishing my goals and living out my dreams. So if I’m put in a position where I have to choose one over the other love will have to go to the wayside and hit the road Jack. At 25 years old I’ve been in love twice. So the way I see it if I can find love twice up to this point I can find love again — and again…and again — if necessary. It’s a sad reality, but it’s one that I’m willing to deal with. Because in all honesty love can come and go, and love can fade — whether on your part or the part of your significant other — but dreams are forever. I’d rather be 40 years old knowing that I’ve accomplished many of the things that I set out to do in my life — and know that I still have the POSSIBILITY of finding love — than to be 40 years old, married with kids, not having accomplished anything I care about and not pursuing my passions. Because as much as you may love someone, it doesn’t mean you’re going be satisfied with your OWN life when it’s all said and done if you sacrifice it all for one person.

Have you ever been forced to choose? Leave your story in the comment section below. We’d love to hear it.


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